Q. Which one do you hate more? Jews, Mexicans, or Asians. A. I hate all of them, but jews are annoying when they resist getting stuffed in the oven.

Where can I apply for janitor school?

an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

kieran is a homosexual

why did the black guy talk to the monkey? they were in the same cage.

What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer...and the other is a watermelon.

A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He has been drinking alone every day since his wife an unborn child died in an horrific car accident.

Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

A dead guy walks into a grave.

Guide on how to make the color yellow for yourself! First, you grab green, and then you remove all the blue... AND YELLOW COLOR GET! While you are reading this I am fingering your sister... WHAAAAT? She is only a baby you say? Well... Moral: Ugh... The ending was so wrong in so many ways... I should totally rewrite this and call it EXTENDED DIRECTORS EDITION... I cant bother... Oren The laroM naM! OR !naM laroM ehT oreN So anyway, Christiaaaans, its ask and you shall receive right? Virgin Mary is not virgin anymore because I asked if you know what I mean... ;) NOW FIRE THE STORM OF RED THUMBS MWAHAHAHAHAHA I AM THE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALPYSE! I AM THE RED DRAGON.... OR EVEN WORSE... I AM THE DARK LORD SANTA!!!!!! Nevermind, ugh... Santa is just too disgusting, sorry, I meant Satan, phew, thats a relief on my concience... I should probably take my finger out of your sister... ...And insert the GREAT BIGGUS DICKUS! Your sister only two years? Ugh... Well, SHE WILL GROW INTO IT... Ugh, I dont wanna post this, but I bet Ryu sometimes dont want to go HADOUUUUKEEEEEEN Just so a slow projectile takes of like 2 percent of his enemies life... SO... One TWO TH... Oh wait, I must solvemedia first. Ice to meet you? Thats pathetic.

Your moms so stupid that she called me to get my number

Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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