How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

Your moms so stupid she ate all the food in the grocery store

How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

how did the bus fall outa the tree it got hit by a hellicopter how did the boy fall outa the tree he was attached to the bus how did the chicken fall outa the tree it fell off the branch

If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

Why did The Chicken cross The Road? The Chicken was a new drug dealer to town and he did a deal with The Road , the town's existing drug dealer (they used these nicknames to hide their identities), but then back stabbed him to try and take the whole area for himself. Money and Power, as always.

this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

What do you call a Mexican that is jumping off a building? A suicidal jumper!

What happen to the guy who stole the TV. He runs away as he fears the person that stoled his/her TV reports him/her to the police.

Why was the unemployed dolphin trainer so sad? His life has no purpoise. In an unrelated topic, how is he unemployed id he is a dolphin trainer?

A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had AIDS

Knock Knock [Opens Door]

Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

The child was fired from his job.

Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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