What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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Is that your face or is your dog walking backwards.

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Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

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dead dibbs

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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What is cowboy say

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

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Boob

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one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

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Whats funny? Your face.

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

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And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have 5 Fingers The Middle One's For You!! :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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