Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

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That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

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Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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What do you callan african american in KFC? A had working american with a average profit, trying to make a living.

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When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

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Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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Why did Colussi miss school for 2 years? -Because he died

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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Please don't shoot me

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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Why were our jokes deleted? Because it's anti-joke.

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Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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