How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had one nut

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A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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whats long and black on a black guy slavery

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for them. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed next to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops