Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

A religion is like a penis. They are both nouns.

A boy walks to the bark and on his way he sees two individuals having sex in a car. He runs home and asks hios mother what he saw. She responds vinny is an enormous dork

Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

YEAH! LIKE RELLEZ! XD Anyway, sure, it depends, you don't get voted as the most pointless man on Horse-head network without working some for it, but if really weird comments impress you, then sure. Honestly though, I might have been flexing my show off muscles a bit more than usual, as in posting more stupid stuff than usual, BUT, that is because when a MAN meets a sexy WOMAN, yet another one than his WIFE, his already boiling testosterone burns with flames... ...And yeah, where where we again? Oh yeah, you acting a bit bimbo, and me going "RELLEZ" just to make you aware... Then added this.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables

What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He had no legs

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society

why did the women have to black eyes? obviously because her husband hit her because he wanted a sandwich and he slapped the bitch and told her to get in the kitchen!

Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

What happens when cole goes into a dark room? It's not possible his hair puts off too much light

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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