A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

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What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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Racial Equality

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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kk

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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I like cheese. You like cheese. Have a nice day.

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Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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