A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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Y did the boy fall down the stairs???? He was In a wheel chair

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

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What do u call a cripple Biv

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Tony Romo

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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