Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

Why did the Hispanic woman cheat on her husband? Because he couldn't maintain an erection, was boring, and collected stamps.

What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

What do you get when you cross a confused man and an anti-social woman? I don't know, go away.

The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

What comes after Friday? A ?.

Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

What's worst than missing a doctors appointment? Having AIDS and missng out on getting a cure that could have gotten rid of your disease.

What did the one Lame say to the other Lame? I don't know, what did you say?

How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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