So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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A religion is like a penis. They are both nouns.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

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What if I told you.....potatoe

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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Skinny people fart less.

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and now has two jobs to support her family.

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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a black guy walks into a black bar

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops