What is life? Paul.

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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