I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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Why did the gitl fail her cooking class? Because she was abused and severely beaten by her teacher

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

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Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

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Things to do get an A on my test win my hockey game become immortal well that escalated quickly

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

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A religion is like a penis. They are both nouns.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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