What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

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hey justin

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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what is big round and fat? Your MOM

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A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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Q. Why was the little boy sad? A. He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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