Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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There was a little boy (Jewish edition) Saten: Look father, my silk vestments make me look so much more fabulous than you! Gad: Oh! Hawt sweetie! But not as pretty as my dress... Err I mean "silks"... Anyway you are no longer my son! Which means we can do you know what ;) Saten: Hmpf! I am feel disappoint in of your dress! Gad: ITS SILKS! just *basically* a dress... Oh my gawd! You refuse to give it to your "daddy" ;) You are losar ant not gonna get to hang around this club anymore! Saten: OMFG you are so enrage! You are liek not classy or flamboyant at all anymore, sorry pimp "daddy" :/ Imma leavin! And btw Adam my secret lover has such a bigger wienersnitzel anyways, and he is totally eating my fruits if you know what I mean ;) Gad: Oh me so jelez I am completelay going to panish him! I am throwing him out of Paradise and he will only be abley to get children with women now, lulz I am liek so evel. Saten: OMG WEMEN! UR LIEK ZO EVEL! What u goin to do next huh? Forbid Sodomy? Omg tat would be so mean :(... Moral: "NEVER WEAR A FINER SILKS THAN GAD!"...Well, it starts with two flamboyant faggots fighting over who has the "prettiest silk vestments" (basically dresses)... The rest kinda kinda figures.

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What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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knock knock who's there? faith

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My grandpa died in the Holocaust He fell from the guard tower

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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