Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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800 people died last year. end of story

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what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops