What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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