Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

What did Billy say when he met the president? Nice to meat you Mr. President? -Louis

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally murdered six's family

Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

whats worse than finding ten dead babies in one recycling bin finding ten dead babies in one trashcan ---sticksack

Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

What did the blonde say when she saw a box of cheerios? "Lovely, I think I'll have some of these for breakfast today. The wholegrain will be good for me."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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