Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Jack and Jill went up a hill to snort a little coke, Jack felt horny , so did Jill. But unfortunately Jack cant's maintain an erection no matter how turned on he is.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What happened to the kid who brome his neck? He died.

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

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What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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