why was the man so good at holding stuff? he was born with 4 arms!

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your stupid.

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I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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What do you call a Mexican on the moon? Quite an unusual circumstance consedering Mexico doesn't currently have a space program. Not only that but Nasa hasen't even had people going to the moon since the 1970s.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Lololol

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What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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Alchohol.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Start running Cuz ima F*** you Runn Forest Runn! Jubie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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