What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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What's Black/White and red all over? Obama when he gets a little flustered.

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What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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What's black and doesn't work? My Blackberry, but luckily it was still under guarantee and the situation was solved swiftly and relatively drama free.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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breasts

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

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Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops