Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

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Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? With a blindfold

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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what is funnier than 24.....?????? 69. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE ME AND YOUR MAMA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

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What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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A white man is found dead in an alley way, who was the murderer? The black guy trying to climb up the walls to escape.

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A man walks into a barbershop. He gets a crew cut and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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