When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

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Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

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How do you keep a blond in suspense?

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing.

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Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

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I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

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once upon a time there was a cripple little girls who lived in an orfanage were she got raped then beat .

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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