i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3? Michael was a succesful dancer, singer-songwriter, musician, and philanthropist, whereas a PS3 is a games console.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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Rebecca Blacks walk into a bar. She gets shot.

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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A man walks into a barbershop. He gets a crew cut and leaves.

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A white man is found dead in an alley way, who was the murderer? The black guy trying to climb up the walls to escape.

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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In an all out brawl between the casts of Gilligan's Island, Hogan's Heroes and the Brady Bunch, who would be the winner? The Viewer

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this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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