Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops