What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

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You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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yo mama's so fat because when women are pregnet thay gain weight for there child to feed on

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Mexicans are inferior because! BEECUZ! Listen buddy, to be honest, I get girls every now and then because I am what they all want me to be, myself. You are a great friend as far as I am concerned, and I care a lot about you considering I saw you once like... 13 years ago, but I do not spend an entire night chatting with someone on horsehead network out of all things unless that person means a lot more than sex for me... Hell, if I did not feel that nice about you, I would not even have wanted to, and that sounds really awkward for a guy like me to say, believe me, you wont be losing a friend. AS LONG AS YOU KEEP GIVING IT TO ME! I am joking, but this is who I am (sadly) I have many female friends, and yeah well, some I well you know, I am just not the kind of guy that listens to girls sob stories, and pretend to be their gay best friend, while I watch someone bad ass come and bang her... Nah, I am more like that bad ass banger, except I dont break girls hearts afterwards. Seriously, I am really fond of you, to the point where I will say something guys mostly do not say: If you are feeling pressured into stuff, then dont do it, you wont be losing a friend, I wanna spend an intimate night with you (day, shower, on the breakfast table all that) but thats because I really like you, we have built some intimacy in pretty short time if you ask my opinion... See? Now I am being honest and leaving myself vulnerable, and I do that because I honestly care about you.

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are on a cruise together. A horrifying accident occurs, sinking the boat and killing all of them. Their deaths are mourned by their respective family members.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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Kerry Katona becomes independent.

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

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Holocost jokes arent even that funny, Anne Frank-ly they annoy me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops