Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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whats black and white and red all over? this joke.

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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I named my son ps2 controller

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what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

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White men's rights

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Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

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what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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