Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Shltskc gw? G

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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