What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

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Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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what long green and bumpy? a pickle

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What's the difference between a mac and a pc? Well haven't you seen the commercials.

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my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

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oh, you have a baby on board? I'll just drive into the the car next to you...

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what is the differrence between a boy and girl their oranges

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roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

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Penis.

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple But nothing rhymes with purple.

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I couldn't decide whether to buy a pepperoni or a meat feast pizza? So i got neither and my two year old son died of starvation.

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What do you call a bunch of whiteguys running down a hill? An Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? A Mudslide What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A Jailbreak

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

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What's worse than rain on your birthday? Dying

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Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

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Hi I am Michael Jackson... you have any young boys? My park is open :), the "nude dark caverns" can be scary, but I accompany them all, so relax. Moral: LEAVE MJ ALONE! ;(

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A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

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A Nazi walks into a bar. No one really knows he's a Nazi and he doesn't talk about it that much in public, so he chats to some people then leaves after a few beers...

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Niggas be like you ugly and you playing hard to get, yo ass already hard to want!

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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