A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

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Who got sarah pregnant? No one knows. She was a whore.

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A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

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where's mom I killed her

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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Mahmy

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Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

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what is red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

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Q: What does a giraffe say to the other giraffes? A: Nothing, giraffes do not have vocal cords and are therefore unable to make any sounds, much less speak; not to mention a giraffes brain is far to underdeveloped to talk in a spoken language.

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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Are you from Jamaica? 'Cause you're making me crazy! Are you from Haiti? I'm really sorry about all the disaster that's been happening there.

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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okay so theres this guy.

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Did you hear about the man who went up into space without a space suit? He died.

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Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

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Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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Why do bitches love cheese toast? 'Cuz bitches love cheese toast

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

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What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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