why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

I like touching my boobs

What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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