Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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Mogok Papiti.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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No soup for you!

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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