A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

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Steven hawkings shook my hand

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

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yo mama so stupid i'm fairly certain she has a learning disability.

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Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

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Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I got Alzheimer's! ...... Who the hell are you?

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why did the owner of Google decide to name the company "Google"? google it..

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

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A chicken crosses the road... Gets fined for jaywalking.

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What do you call a gay man? Phil Krahn

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops