Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

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Yo momma is so fat, that when I went over to your house and accidentally stepped on a skateboard, yo momma came out and said "get the %$^# off the skateboard!"

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After six days in prison, and the eight hours in court straight they finally randomly decided that I "acted in self defense" which I did, so I demanded recompensation for they locking me up and wasting my time... ...And hell if I did not get 12.000USD for it, not before they called me disrespectful and immoral, before I shut them the fuck up... ...""Earning" your respect wont pay my bills, while I am apparently the only one with balls here, what else can you say when you everybody else shuts the fuck up and sits down because the "alpha male" of your pack, yes you a grotesquely fat ass in a black dress and a gray womans wig smacks his little hammer on his desk... Judge my ass" Speaking of morals... "It is called sacrasm furfags" Nero: Did I mention that her boyfriend broke four fingers on his hand against my chest (supposedly it was a punch of some sort), then he countered my attack(?), as he skillfuly blocked both kicks with his face, as he fell down cried and pissed himself like the 52 year old "adult" he is? Then I broke both his knees with my heels and told him I would kill him too if he told the cops that I did so in self defense... In self defense of course... Drugs told my mother I was Satan, and that I would end up killing her the very day I was born... Little did I know back then, that whatever kind of angel dust she used then was right about me killing her... Now its her turn to climb up from the hell she sent me trough, except that I locked the gate at the end. I miss my real arm though, which she chopped right off me when I was six and offered it to God as tribute, then proceeded to beat the shit out of me with it it... That kinda felt nice compared to waterboarding and all the other shit she did to me, as for my father... Tried to break my neck because I was at my room studying when he caught me scratching my prosphetic arm which was a sin apparently, yes reader I literally killed my father too and you dont hear me whining about it. Nero: I had a custom prosphetic arm made, it wont pick up or hold shit, you can in fact crush your own fathers skull with a fist literally made of steel, even if you still cant believe its not real butter. Solvemedia: Politically correct, thumbs the fucks ups for the irony... Or the steel which I used in pure fear as my neck snapped and my legs went numb... Just a literal pain in the neck for the rest of my life though, and a nice memory...

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

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What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's twenty of them.

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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What do you call a dick with blonde hair? Joffrey Baratheon.

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Cancer.

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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Q:What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A: A bike

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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What do you call a black man riding a bicycle? A good citizen who cares about the environment.

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Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

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" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

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Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parent's bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't. He said nothing, and the incident troubled him deeply for many years.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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