Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did one man say to the other? I'm a Mormon.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

live or die you decide to late time to die

thumb_up thumb_down -42

knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Libraries.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -124

whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops