Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Dude, i know this guy, who knew this guy named Ben, who knew this guy named Valen, who knew this guy named Chad and he said.... Ben's Dead.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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Women's Rights

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bronson watt walks into a bar.

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A. Knock Knock. B. Who's there? A. Orange. B. Orange who? A. Orange you glad your retarded because you think oranges can talk?

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Ayy mon, come smoke dis weed wit ma

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what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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What is blue and feels like fluff? Blue fluff

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The GOV and the WHO?

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

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How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

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What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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