roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

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Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

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Womens rights

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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what did the kid say when pee-wee was about to rape him ...huh just make it quick

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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