A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If you add two 1's together its 11 if you add two 2's together its 22 If you add two 3's together its 33 So what happens if you add 4 and 4? No you dumb-ass its not 44, its 8

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

sfdg

thumb_up thumb_down -14

EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What the corn in the core? The mexican antelope.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad ill be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

tell ur mom i love her before i die this would have been a better ending to the tintanic

thumb_up thumb_down -14

One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops