What did the cookie monster eat? Food

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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there was once a jew

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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2 guys shot up a morgue..... 13 bodies remain dead.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

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Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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Knock knock come in.

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Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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