Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Why couldn't the dinosaur sing? Because dinosaurs are extinct

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Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

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What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

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How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

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Why did the man stop playing his computer game? The SWAT busted down his door and quickly pinned him down and arrested him for the murder of 7 families, he was charged for life in prison.

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What do you call a man with no legs and no arms on your doorstep? Matt

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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Every 60 seconds In Africa......... A minute passes.

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A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

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Yo mama so fat.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops