Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -2

this new cologne, it's kind of gross smelling.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Dog walks into a bar to order a drink. The bar patrons are at first amused and overjoyed to share their night with a playful pet, until they see that his mouth is foaming and he's already started trying to eat the nearest child. Screams erupt as the bartender calls 911. The dog manages to injure two patrons before he is tazed by the police and taken to be put down. One of the men injured has to have his arm amputated, which is unfortunate for his new career as a heart surgeon. The hospital informs him that they have no choice but to force him to resign, after they hand him his lengthy medical bill. He ends up losing his apartment, and his fiance leaves him for someone more stable financially. The man then drinks himself to death, after attacking and killing a local dog with his one remaining hand. The dog belonged to a new family on the block, whose son had terminal cancer. Due to the cancer, the boy had trouble making friends in a new area, and the dog (Sonny) was his one source of companionship and, by extension, hope. The boy is later admitted to the hospital for breathing problems, and after a 4-hour surgery, is pronounced dead. His attending physician was quoted as saying "He was so close to beating back the infection, but all of a sudden it seemed like he just... gave up." I mean, how was a dog supposed to order a drink in the first place, am I right?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Once upon a time, there was a ghost. The ghost was sneaking up on a little girl when she turned around and asked the ghost "Are you a stalker or something?" The ghost, unable to reply (being a ghost) was then kicked in the shins. The End!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a black man living in Brooklyn making over ten-thousand dollars a week? a hard worker

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What will ur wife say when she finds you in bed with a hore-s.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jax vs Pig Jax: HOHAHOHOHAHOHAHOHA... Etc Pig *spinning head like neck is gonna break off* Shao Kahn: FINISH HIM! Jax: GOT YA! OH YEAH... BEASTIALI*Y, BEAST*ALITY? AGAIN?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did the serail rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Rose are red, I dont give a shit. When I think of you, I play with my clit. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So i can type anything in this box and it shows up on the website?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Robin, get in the batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? -slavery

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock. Who´s there? Tsu Tsu who? TSUNAMI!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops