How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

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Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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what did the little boy see when he walked into his parents bed room a bed

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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Jesus

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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