What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

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Why are bacon and eggs good. Because Toasters are silver

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your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She got kicked in the face by a mule.

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why did the jew cross the road? He didnt. He got stuck in the wire fence.

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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Why did the aeroplane fall out of the sky? An ant jumped on it

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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darude- sandstorm

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What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I take my cleats off when I jump on trampolines

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

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Youre mom is so dead...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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