friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had Alzheimers and forgot that he lived on the other side of the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the mushroom say to the carrot? Is this even important given the current state of world affairs?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes it is, how may I help you?"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than the Holocaust? A second Holocaust. What's worse than a second Holocaust? Being raped by Santa Claus. What's worse than that? NOTHING.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man says to his doctor, "doctor, doctor, I think I have a split personality." The doctor responds, "That makes 4 of us."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A: I slept in your mums bed last night. B: don't care dad

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a woman's bedroom... But I was already bored of the plot so I skipped to the end of the pornographic video.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than biting an apple with a worm in it? Getting stabed until you died and being fed to your own children....... twice

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, my name is Dave. This poem makes no sense, microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -10

NASCAR

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's even worse than getting a parking ticket on your birthday? Child molestation.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do you call a Palestinian with a large blade at the throat of an Israeli? a barber

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo mommas so fat We are terribly concerned about her health

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A large Albanian man jizzing on the pile.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain. Chuck promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops