Why did the drunk man puke? Because he was drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the hooker get for Christmas ? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A: Hi I am a Mormon B: I know I'm one of your wifes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When life gives you limes....... first you have some problem and second u throw them at people

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot. Duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

charlie sheen

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock whos there? IRS Oh....

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black and fast? A treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "What will it be tonight?" He then promptly remembers he is on anti-joke.co but is too late to react. The horse has already shit on the floor. This is the fifth time this week that this has happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worth than a large pile of dead babies? Nothing, you sick freak.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's worse than spilling milk all over the floor? A: Cleaning up the milk you spilled all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops