A man walks into a bar. He is followed by a chicken, 2 donkeys, a tiger, 7 cardinals, 3 horses, 11 chipmunks, and 2 squirrels. And they all lived happily ever after. THE END

How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

So one day There's a normal average day cheerio walking down the street, just walking along, when all-of-a-sudden he sees the most gorgous frosted cheerio in the world. This frosted cheerio has the most out smooth curves and just sparkles all the time and he immiediately falls in love with this frosted cheerio. So he walks up to the Frosted cheerio and says "Oh my goodness, you are the most beautifal frosted cheerio i have ever seen in my entire life, your just so stunning! Do you wanna marry me?" "Oh thats so sweet of you" said the Frosted Cheerio "but we could never be together because im a gorgous frosted cheerio and your just a normal cheerio". Determined, the Cheerio decides to clean up his act, goes and quits his job at the newsstand and applies for a job at applebees working his way up through the chain of command until a few months later when he finally is manage and becomes a Honey nut cheerio. He then goes to the Beautifal Frosted Cheerio and says "Look at me now! Im a Honey Nut cheerio and we can be together!" "Oh i do appreciate the effort" says the frosted cheerio "But im a frosted cheerio and your just a honey nut cheerio and i dont think it would work out". Even more determined, the honey nut cheerio decides to quit his job at the applebees and decides to go to college and after 8 years of intensive practice, the Honey nut cheerio finally has his Doctor's degree in Optomology and becomes a Frosted Cheerio. He then runs to the Frosted cheerio and says "Look! Im finally a frosted cheerio we can finally be together!" "Oh, Wow" says the beautifal frosted cheerio "Now we can be together!" The two frosted cheerios go on to have an incredibly happy marraige and are in the process of naming their first born child. The husband cheerio goes to the bookstore and buys a young cheerio name book, but after many hours of searching the book has no good names. So the husband goes all the way across the country to get an even bigger book of baby cheerio names and yet, they still cannot find a good name for the first born. Taking a break from finding the name of their first born child, the couple visits their local carnival and after going on many rides the wife becomes quite thirsty so she asks her husband " Honey, could you fetch me a glass of sprite? so the Husband goes to the Sprite line and he waits and waits but the line is just too long. "Im really sorry dear, but the sprite line was just too long" "Oh its fine honey you can just get me some Coke" Happy to get his wife some beverage the cheerio finds the coke line but yet again finds that the line is just too long. "Honey, Im really sorry but the coke line was just way too long" Dissapointed, but still thirst the wife says " Well i guess i could settle for some fruit punch" So the husband leaves but unfortunatly, There was no punch line.

What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

roses are red violets are blue pornhub is down ya mums facebook will do

Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

24

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

Roses are red Babies cry Get in my bed Or you will dies

Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

Smoke Day, Every Weed.

Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert. It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert who? Mam, he was in an accident. Could you open the door please?

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. The mailman who? Anthrax.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

Why was the 3 year old high He was flying

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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