I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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What color is red paint? Red

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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What did little Jimmy get for Christmas? Presents because he wasn't poor.

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 years old to be in a bar

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How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

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Why is Kim Jong Un so horrible? I forgot the rest of the joke but your mum is a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops