If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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This sentence is a lie.

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Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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What do a fish and a bird have in common? They both live under water. Apart from the bird.

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Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

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What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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I need to start studying.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

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What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

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The adventures of Helen Keller:

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what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a penis

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How do you approach a hot guy in the library? Very quietly.

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Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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