What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because aspirin is a man-made drug derived from salicylic acid, and it it is this that is extracted from willow bark, which used to be used by Cherokee Americans as a fever-reducer and pain-reliever.

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Youre mom is so dead...

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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A dyslexic man hears a joke, and laffs.

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Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

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Roses are red violets are blue you better run I see you

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How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

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The Irishman walked out of the bad.. Haha just kidding

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Steve Jobs is alive In our Hearts <3

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Why is this the best day of 10 year old Johnny's life? His parents were killed in 9/11, and Osama Bin Laden has been found and killed. What, Too soon?

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Q: What happens when you sit in the middle of the road? A: You get hit by a car and die a horrible death as your family members mourn in the loss and remain sad forever.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.....

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What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

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Why wasn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She didnt get her driver license...

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops