one day ill be as old as you but you'll be older then too.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q; How did the blind man cross the road? A; very unsuccessfully leaving behind memories of his joys but soon forgotten smile

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to smash and the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down -8

White men's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the faggot say? Nothing, he shot himself due to high school bullying and rejecting parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what are you mike bibby?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whta's the difrence betwen a goat and a hors? The goat goed too eet the hors thre day ago!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A bird flew into a cave and Batman said, "GET OOOUUUTTT!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the boy eat the apple. He really likes apples.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you call a black guy falling down a hill? A hiker with an inconveniance you racist son of a bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops