While i was driving, my son asked, 'Have you had an accident in the last 5 years Dad?' And I replied, 'You're almost four now son'.

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What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

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Eating food: Ugh disgusting! Taking a dump later: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Man, you are doing it wrong... Waterworld was a pretty dry movie, I mean when are they gonna start making movies with a bit of wet humor for a change? SERIOUSLY BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I AM NOT SERIOUS!

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What did the little boy become for Halloween? An orphan, his parents were killed that day.

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What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

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Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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What do you call an Islamic man fling a plane? A very frightened passenger who took over flying the plane when the pilot collapsed due to a heart attack

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

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What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was persecuted for his faith.

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Three tomatoes were walking down the street, a daddy, a mummy and a baby and...wait did I say tomatoes, sorry, I meant people.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jon "Bones" Jones will be fighting Rashad Evans for the Light Heavyweight title tonight at 10PM Eastern time at UFC145.

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*knock knock* Who's there? ...Who's there?... *opens door to find a dead baby on the front door step*

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Two Jews walked into a bar. Then bought it.

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I can vote and I am equal to males in the work enviornment. That's what she said.

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What are the seven wonders of Kentuky cows,drugs,liquor,moutain due,moster trucks,shot guns and trucks oh and I for got Crackle barrle.

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A cat ran into the road...I hit it

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops